I'm weaker physically, but stronger spiritually

Elder Owens Loves Mail!

Last night me and Elder Rigby hit maxes on the bench press and I regret to inform you that my max is now 145. I dropped 20 pounds :(. . .and then i weighed our stuff- the 15 pound bar only weighs 13.6 pounds and the 25 pound plate was only 24.3. So I dropped even more than that!

There's probably a great spiritual principle I could connect it to- but I’m feeling gracious today so you can come up with it on your own.

I don't remember too much else that happened this week. But it was a tuff tough week. We set so many goals and it was like “ya! This week will be so good!” I was doing all my morning workouts and drinking so much water and listening to the voice of the prophet every day and writing down all those things i'm grateful for. . .and then this week was just so difficult. So much rain. Our friends who have goals to be baptized next week ghosted us. So many appointments fell through. The only nice guy from the many many many homes we tracted gave us tea and then left. So then we had to go throw the tea away. 

Oh! And we had a lot of ASL lessons and meals and I have started sending out ASL videos to a bunch of random people on facebook (deaf people of course) . It's really frustrating sometimes how hard it is to form a sentence in ASL. I KNOW the SIGNS. When I watch other people Sign i can understand them but when I try it’s so difficult. But it's ok. I’m trying to try my best.

And Elder Rigby was sick on one of the days so I listened to like 20 President (and Elder) Nelson Talks. In his first one as an apostle he said there had been 84 (latter day) apostles before him! That's crazy but I guess it makes sense. That's just a lot of apostles. He also shared that when he was announced as an apostle his daughter went into labor, like, from being surprised hearing here dad was gonna be an apostle. So funny. 

Well, I set a goal to listen to the prophet's voice every day and it's been nothing but good and enlightening. You should do it too. It's super cool and will help you prepare for general conference. 

https://photos.app.goo.gl/DYM8hzqfMfgxUFWZ7

so much fun.

 https://photos.app.goo.gl/DYM8hzqfMfgxUFWZ7 

  I can't wait for General Conference! Idk why but I'm looking forward to it a bunch right now. I also really really want to go to the temple and see all that new stuff everybody is talking about. I guess every ordinance in the temple has had changes made to it!

so cool how the restoration is literally an ongoing process and the church is led by a prophet who is divinely inspired. So cool.

Well, it was a good week. We had one of those silly days where we drove all over the place just to go visit a few ASL members and of course a few weren't home. Learning a language is great fun but it's also difficult and discouraging a lot. 

I love being able to do things on my own. I don't like asking for help. I'm not great at being corrected and taking it well. I get super frustrated when I can't understand things.  

ASL is all those things I don't like lol. Which is basically a good thing because I'm getting better at all that. 

ANYWAYS, this week we grinded finding and found. . .like. . .nobody. People only listen to us if they are just waiting for a nice way to say no, are intoxicated, or are members already. luckily we did meet a nice intoxicated woman and she let us run through the whole restoration, gave us her number and set up a return appt. then were like "ok, we'll send you a text real quick so you have our number too" and she's like "ok" and we didn't even start writing the text yet and was like "oh cool, i got your text" then closed the door. so we just stood there like.....what.....ok

So- in "indian" culture the men literally rule. which is so sad. I've taught so many Indian women who become truly converted with a testimony of everything we share with them. They read the Book of Mormon and they treasure it so much. Every single time they always disappear unexpectedly. later we find out that they talked to their husband about it or something and he basically forbids any more. It's so annoying. We have a friend named Zahara and we've met with her a few times. We thought her husband already knew so we were really glad that we were able to keep meeting with her but then we knocked on her door and the husband answered and told us straight up that nobody in his home was interested. Me and Elder Rigby were talking about it and Zahara has a Book of Mormon and we know she's read some of it. We hope she reads the rest and prays about it and just becomes converted. Luckily the Book of Mormon contains the fullness of the everlasting gospel so it will teach her all she needs to know. 

also luckily in Numbers 30:8 it says "8 But if her husband disallowed her on the day that he heard it; then he shall make her vow which she vowed, and that which she uttered with her lips, wherewith she bound her soul, of none effect: and the Lord shall forgive her."

So that's good for Zahara and all my other Indian women friends.

also, Our buddy Quis came to church for the second time. He's planning on being baptised on March 4th. Good man. He told us he got an answer to his prayers and the answer was "You just need to keep going with it" so that's what he's gonna do. Love that man.

I know Prayers are answered. The book of Mormon is SOOO true. Getting the right amount of sleep and drinking lots of water have soooo many health benefits and will make you happier. I still don't have a testimony of eating vegetables though- but sleep and water YESS. 

Satan desires to have you so he can sift you as wheat. don't let him do that! do all the things you're supposed to and keep the commandments and ask for help when you need it so that Satan doesn't sift you as wheat. because you're not wheat- you're a child of God. don't eva forget it.

My Story

 2-13-23

I’ve always known that the Church is true, The Book of Mormon was the word of God, that I am a child of God. I’ve always been a pretty good kid, known right and wrong. I did my chores, I tried to do what my parents told me to. Even before I really knew how to read, I understood that reading scriptures every day was a good thing. My parents didn’t make any mistakes in raising me, nothing incredibly traumatic happened to me. Ultimately, I had a pretty successful and wonderful childhood. 

Going to school was great. I had many friends, learned new things with little effort, got great grades, and had the perfect amount of drama to keep things exciting. I never really felt left out or lonely. If I had stress about a test or project I was always able to take care of it and ended up doing a lot better than I expected to. 

Well, eventually summer after Freshman year comes around. My family was going through a lot of stress and soon we'd be moving from Idaho to Utah. One thing at a time things got harder and harder for me. Slowly Satan weakened me and continued to add more trials. 

I had an awful picture pop up on a device one night. I had no clue how those few seconds were going to affect the rest of my life. In just a few seconds a process started that would rewire my brain with a new addiction. I had no clue what was happening. 

I did all I could on my own to stop with very little success. 

I kept it a secret for year. One month I'd do super good, read the scriptures, and be clean.

The next month I'd give up and believe I would never ever be free.

When we finally made it to Utah I believed I had a fresh start. Everything was reset in my mind and I had a chance to finally be free. I really actually thought with a new house, a new room, a new bathroom and new everything else that my problem would just go away.

It didn't.

Things actually got worse. I would go to church, seminary, family home evenings and play the part of "somebody who is not addicted to porn" as best as I could. I hung out with friends and my family as though I was completely fine. When I was alone I was honest with myself and just full of self-hatred. Satan used these times to fill my head with lies. I believed I was broken. I believed there was no way I was ever gonna be free from this. I had accepted that my life was gonna suck.

Then one day I had a meeting with the Bishop. Something about Bishop Griffith made it just right and I was able to finally tell my priesthood leader what was really going on.

I assumed that since I told him I would now be free. No more temptation. No more lost battles. I thought it was gonna take the problem out of me.

It didn't!

It just helped me get on the right path. My best streaks got longer and longer. My testimony grew. My love for the gospel and especially the Book of Mormon grew a mega bunch. But I still had those periods of time where everything crashed and I failed and I believed all those lies and more.

Summer before senior year I found some incredible friends. They shared the same struggles I had and together we helped each other learn how to really actually win. We were accountable and vulnerable with each other. We strengthened each other and set goals for ourselves and as a group. The goals I set with them helped me grow and prepare for my mission more than really anything else did. Pretty soon things clicked in my mind and I could see exactly the things I needed to do to make it so I never ever lost again. I realized by choosing to rely on Jesus Christ and the Atonement I could make choices and receive divine power and help that made it so Satan's attacks didn't reach me. I had the power to stop Satan several choices before the choice of losing a battle or not. 

I hit 124 days! 

The last few weeks were particularly stressful and full of unique challenges. 

I remember the day that lost battle happened literally not even 5 minutes after I had lost, I got a text from my elders quorum president asking me to come help with a blessing.

I broke down crying and sobbing, full of guilt and shame. 

I texted him.and told him what had just happened and how I had just hit 124 and just lost all of it.

A few minutes later he called me and told me that he had talked with Bishop and I had received permission to go help with the blessing. We sat and talked in his car for a long time afterwards. 

Another fast forward, there was another few months of dumb time where for whatever reason I quit meeting with the group where I went to learn how to fight and set those goals. I believe I had done it on my own once before and I could do it again. I didn't need them. They don't need me either. That was a very dark time in my life. I had no victory at all and was full of bad feelings all the time.

One time mom basically told me to go back. She said I hadn't gone in such a long time and she knew that I loved that group of friends. She asked when I was gonna go back. I told her I'd go that week.

Instead, I sat in the car for 2 hours. I stepped out a few times and then got back in the car. I just cried and prayed the whole time.

Next week I went! And I got to bear my testimony in a special way at the end. It was just a group of a few guys and at first I was just gonna say the same things I always did. 

Somehow I was filled with light and the spirit and bore testimony the most powerfully I had ever before in my life. My small group of 6 boys were all crying. A few of them texted me later that week and shared how much something I said was exactly what they needed. 

I went to group every single week after that.

Now, I'm serving a mission. It has not been easy to keep going and pushing forward. Not easy at all. From breaking a wrist, to having a companion you love being sent home. From missing family to having days where the only good thing that happens is going to bed at the end of the day to having to learn ASL. Missions are not easy. But the hardest thing in my life was the trials associated with overcoming addiction and THAT has caused more light and testimony and growth than a lot of people get to even get to experience. I have personal experience with the atonement of Jesus Christ. I've literally been completely changed because of Jesus Christ and the Grace his atonement has made possible. I went from a low so low I thought I would never see the light again. Because of the atonement I was able to rise above all of that. All of it. 

So basically hard trials end up being good IF you include Jesus Christ in them. It doesn't matter what you're going through, there is always hope in Jesus Christ. There will always be a way out of trials, addictions, darkness because of Jesus Christ! 

Don't give up.

Keep on going. 

Read the Book of Mormon every day.

Fruitless E.R. visit and Calling 9-1-1

 2-6-23

So this week was a little frustrating but also super good. I couldn't fully hear out of my right ear all week. It hurts but it's fine whatever. 

Then I started getting weird side ache-like pains in my right chest area. I was sure they'd go away but then it lasted all day, then all day again, then all day again. 

So Elder Rigby was like "Elder. Call the mission nurse"

And despite studying humility, I still had too much pride to take his advice and just pretended like it didn't hurt as much as it did. 

So the next morning I'm finally like ok.

So I texted her and then she called me while Elder Rigby was in the shower. Basically we went through all my symptoms and she had me describe the pain as best I could and shes like- you have appendicitis.

So I was like- no way. We went through all the symptoms again and shes like yup, go to the emergency room.

So Elder Rigby walks out of the shower and i'm like "hey…so i just got of the phone with mission nurse sister Alt. She wants me to go to the ER"

And he's like "well let's get going then!"

So then I got a chest x-ray and an EKG and we told the mission nurse that and she was like ?? That's not gonna help them see appendicitis! They need to do an ultrasound!

So they came back and did an ultrasound and that was kinda nice. They slathered super warm jelly all over me and I just laid there like 'ok…'

And then an hour later they came back and told me nothing was wrong. It's probably just muscle pain. Take ibuprofen.

So we left and that was that. 

Later in the week we had just gotten home from our last appt that day and were winding down from everything, just sitting in pajamas and filling out an area book. I went to go wash my face and as soon as i get the lather all on. Elder Rigby starts bamging on the bathroom door yelling "yo yo yo hurry up! Yo! Hurry up"

So i'm thinking he pooped his pants or something and i open the door with stuff still on my face and there's yelling and shouting and thuds coming from next door. So were like .

A gal were kinda friends with and her "boyfriend" were fighting.

And basically it got pretty bad so we opened the door and were like "hey do you want us to call the cops" and the gal told us yes. So we did. And they were just so mean to each other. It was pretty bad. The cops pulled up and sorted it out and said that they didn't want to have to come back, don't make us come back! It was good and silent for like 5 minutes. Then it all started up again. 

The gal had a friend come pick her and her son up. Our guy came and literally punched her. 

Oh! And this whole time we're just standing behind our blinds watching through them. We almost called the cops again but they left. 

So that was fun but not actually.

And I ended up grabbing a towel and just wiping the face wash off lol.

Last p-day I bought a guitar from some guy who knew like 15 words in English. The guitar is nice (I think- I don't really know guitars) and compared to the rest on FB marketplace I got a good deal lol. 

I've been playing around on that alot and it's pretty fun. So if you have any guitar tips or anything like that plz send it. Fr fr.

I should probably mention something about the work. The work is going great. We had one day where we visited some ASL friends that live really far away. So about half that day was spent in the car, good thing we have good music. It was kinda sad cuz we traveled so far just for some of them to not be home. 

But the ones that were made were worth it. One of our ASL friends came out to us and we were kinda shocked but ofc also not really. He's one of our top progressives. I was at his first lesson with us. His name is Juan but we always use his sign name. He for sure is gonna be baptized. 

Our mission has set a goal to find 1000 people this week! Usually we're hitting around 

400 apparently but I guess since the storms and floods we've been going up by like 150 each week so we hit about 850. Now President Smith wants to see us hit 1000. That's 13 new people per companionship. If we do then he'll get everybody Jamba Juice. 

Soooo mega need prayers this week to find those people, and for my ear and chest to quit hurting. Plz throw us in at least one of your prayers this week. 

So ya. 

Read the Book of Mormon every day. Start every day out with a prayer- right after you turn the alarm off or whatever. (And in one of those prayers plz pray for me) 

If you have any Deaf friends living in Northern California….let me know? Maybe? Please? 

Love you guys. Thanks for taking the time to read this and caring enough to stay updated on my mission. 

This is where all the pictures are:

https://photos.app.goo.gl/DYM8hzqfMfgxUFWZ7